CHOOSING YOUR BIRTH PARTNER

Advice on choosing your birth partner and what they can do to help you through the birth...

Whoever you choose to be with you during labour and birth is there to give you both practical and emotional support. Whether this is your partner, or you have decided on having your mum, a close friend or a doula as your birth partner, it’s important that they know what to expect.

How to choose your birthing partner

Although most women choose to have their partner with them during labour, this is something that you both need to feel comfortable about.

If you are concerned about your partner seeing you in pain or you are worried about how they’ll cope, it may better to get your mum or a close friend to support you – either in addition to your partner or in their place.

The most important thing is that you feel comfortable with the person you choose and that you trust them to act on your behalf if the going gets tough.

If you decide on having both your partner and a friend and you are having a home birth this won’t be a problem, however if you are having a hospital birth it’s worth checking their policy, as not all hospitals will allow two birth partners.

What does a birth partner do?

The most important thing that your birth partner does is to be there for you. They will need to be able to reassure you and offer support in any way that helps and to speak on your behalf if the need arises.

It helps if they have attended antenatal classes with you, as this will give them a better understanding of the birth process.

They also need to be familiar with your birth plan so that they know how you would like your labour and birth to be managed.

This will allow them to explain your wishes to the midwife or doctor if you are in the middle of intense contractions.

Of course, no one knows how your labour and birth will go so your birth partner, while looking after your interests, needs to be aware that there are times when medical intervention has to take place, even if it’s not what you had hoped for in your birth plan.

What your birth partner can do to help you 

• Look after you in practical ways such as providing drinks and snacks, wiping your hands and face, massaging your back and helping you change position.
• Help you with breathing or relaxation techniques and hold your hand.
• Support your decisions, for example, if you change your mind about having pain relief.
• Tell you what is happening, and if intervention is suggested ensure that you understand the reasons so that you can make an informed choice.
• Be your voice and let the staff know what you want if you are not able to explain yourself.
• Tell family and friends that your baby has arrived.
• Help you get comfortable after the birth.
• Get you drinks and a snack if you want refreshment once your baby has arrived.