DOMESTIC ABUSE AND VIOLENCE DURING PREGNANCY

What you should know and where you can get support...

One in four women will experience domestic abuse at some point in their lives. And for some women,
domestic violence is a terrifying reality during pregnancy.
 
Sadly, while pregnancy can be a time of great happiness and joy, it can also be a time where domestic
abuse can get worse, or even start for the first time.
 
A report for national women and children's charity, Refuge found that 20% of the women using Refuge’s
services are pregnant or have recently given birth, with another report finding that four to nine women in
every 100 experience domestic abuse while they are pregnant or shortly after they have had their baby.
 

What is domestic abuse?

While the image we may often have of domestic abuse is of physical violence, it can also take many other forms.
 
The Government defines domestic violence and abuse as:
 
"Any incident of controlling, coercive, threatening behavior, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been intimate partners or
family members regardless of gender or sexuality.”
 
It often follows a pattern of abusive and controlling behaviour, which can become worse over time.
 
Still, many women who are living in domestically abusive relationships may feel unsure if what they are
experiencing is abuse. It is important for women to understand that it is not their fault and there is help
and support available. 

Domestic violence in pregnancy

Research conducted internationally has revealed that three in ten women (30%) who are subject to
domestic abuse are physically assaulted for the first time when they are pregnant.
 
Domestic violence during pregnancy is incredibly serious as it may put the life of the woman and also her unborn child at risk. The devastating consequences can range from miscarriage and infection to
premature birth, low birth rate and in the most tragic circumstances, stillbirth or death of the mother.
 
Speaking about her work with survivors of domestic abuse, Amna Abdullatif, Children and Young People’s Officer at Women’s Aid, told Emma’s Diary:
 
“We know that domestic abuse often starts or even escalates during pregnancy. The prevalence of women experiencing violence and abuse during pregnancy is simply unacceptable; it is estimated that domestic abuse starts during pregnancy in nearly a third of cases.
 
“Pregnant women might experience the abuser starting or intensifying his controlling and emotionally      abusive behaviour,” she says. “In some cases, the mother and baby might be at risk of physical abuse    which can cause lasting damage to the baby’s health and development. In some heart-breaking cases, the violence and abuse can be fatal, resulting in the woman losing her baby or in some cases both lives being taken.” 

Mental health and wellbeing 

Domestic abuse in pregnancy can also affect a woman’s mental health and wellbeing as well as aggravate existing health problems or chronic pain conditions. Women who are being abused may also worry about how competent they will be as a mother and their ability to love and protect their baby.
 
While some women may experience domestic abuse for the first time during pregnancy, there are others
who may find it subsides as the abuser makes a concerted effort not to harm the growing baby. This, however, does not mean that it won’t begin again once the child is born.
 

Where can I get help?

If you’re experiencing any form of domestic abuse, it’s important to know that there are people you can
talk to who can give you the support you need. They will not judge you or blame you. Domestic abuse is
not your fault.
 
You can talk in confidence to a number of health professionals including your GP or midwife, obstetrician, health visitor or social worker. Your situation will not be discussed with other services unless you want it to be -  the only exception being if they have concerns that you, your unborn child or other children are in serious danger.
 
“From our work with survivors, we know that for many women their appointments with a midwife might    be the only place where they are alone and feel safe enough to disclose their experience of domestic      abuse,” said Amna from Women’s Aid.
 
“Health professionals can play a huge role in ensuring that survivors get the support they need to escape domestic abuse.”
 
If at first, however, you feel unable to tell a health professional, there are some incredible charities and
resources available online and in your local area. 

Support if you feel unable to tell a health professional

National charity, Women’s Aid has a wealth of information on its website from how you can recognise domestic abuse to where you can access local services and support groups.
 
The charity’s Survivor’s Handbook offers practical support and guidance across all aspects of domestic abuse. There is also an anonymous peer-to-peer Survivors’ Forum where women can discuss their experiences and offer each other support in a safe space.
 
Another charity supporting women and children against domestic violence is Refuge, which has a range of resources available online.  
 
Speaking of what she would say to a pregnant woman experiencing abuse, chief executive of Refuge,
Sandra Horley CBE told Emma’s Diary:
 
“I would tell [her] that she is not alone – one woman in four experiences domestic abuse in her lifetime,
and support is available.
 
“We know that domestic abuse often escalates when a woman becomes pregnant. Whatever went wrong in the relationship, she is not responsible for her partner’s violent behaviour.  Violence is a choice a man
makes and he alone is responsible for it.  Nothing gives him the right to harm her or her unborn child.”
 
She invites readers who are pregnant and experiencing domestic violence to visit www.refuge.org.uk for further support.
 

Important Information

 
The 24 hour National Domestic Violence opens in a new window  Freephone Hotline -  0808 2000 247
 
This is a freephone service run by Women’s Aid and Refuge and is open 24 hours a day. The service is
completely confidential and run by fully trained female helpline support workers and volunteers. They
will listen to you for as long as you need and help you know what your options are.  
 
If you are in immediate danger from an abusive partner, call 999.
 
If it is not safe for you to speak, you can make it known that the police are needed by either coughing or  pressing 55 to notify them that it is an emergency. 

Other useful resources for pregnant women:

Best Beginnings  
 
A national charity to support women experiencing domestic violence in pregnancy.
The charity offers a Baby Buddy Crisis Messenger opens in a new window  allowing you contact a trained counsellor when you’re
in emotional pain or crisis. It is free to use and available 24/7 and won’t show up on your bill.
 
Safe Lives
 
National charity opens in a new window dedicated to ending domestic abuse.
 
Buttle UK - Chances for Children
 
This charity opens in a new window supports children who have been affected by domestic abuse